The other day you sneezed while I was changing your diaper and clear as day you said, “bless you!” to yourself. I vowed to get it down as soon as I could, but before that happened you told me that you loved me for the first time ever. “I love you, bug.” I said, as always.
“Ahguboo.” you said back, smiling.
Everyday I unwrap you a little bit more, like a mystery gift encased in a sequence of boxes. It’s the best part of being home with you guys. I learn so much about your brother and sister everyday that it’s staggering. I’m learning about how they shoulder responsibility and how they carry themselves in uncertain situations - but I feel like I understand, at the core, who they are because in a large sense they’ve already grown into themselves. I feel like I’m still learning that with you, holding your hand while we figure it out together. It is such an honor to be that person in your life.
Speaking of people in your life, can we just talk for a minute about how in love you are with your dad? It isn’t just that you shower him with attention, either, it’s that you literally come alive when he gets home, like his face charges your batteries in a way that no one else can. You talk more when he’s around, you act sillier when he’s around; you shadow him like a faithful dog and comment in gibberish on everything he does and says, whether he’s talking to you or not. Happy as you are throughout the day when he’s at work, seeing the comparison makes it seem almost as if every moment leading up to the one where he walks though that door is spent just waiting for him. He is your best friend, and you do not even try to do me the courtesy of hiding the fact that right now, he is your favorite.
Believe me, he eats that shit up, too.
That isn’t to say that you don’t love everybody else though. I know that when you’re older one of the things about your babyhood that’ll always stick out for us is the way that you have never feared strangers. I mean, not even at the most basic level. To this day, if a friendly stranger offers you a passing grin, you immediately reach for them, expecting to just be handed over. You hug other parents on the leg who you know are not us, you’ve even kissed people sitting next to us before. If you are anything, child, it is affectionate.
At one point it concerned me enough to research a little and to speak to your doctor about, but it turned out that as long as you were connecting well with us, it isn’t any sign of developmental dysfunction or you trying desperately to escape from the family or anything. And you do connect with us perfectly. (I don’t know if you’ve heard, but you told me that you “gub” me the other day!)
You are gibber-jabbering up a storm now. You repeat almost anything that we say with a good deal of clarity and once in a while you’ll even pipe up with a spontaneous and appropriate word on your own. Yesterday, you pointed up at baby Charles while he was in my arms and said: BABY! The day before that you pointed to pizza coming out of the oven and said: PEET-SEE! And when you see animals you almost invariably mimic their distinguishing sounds. Your meow?: SO FREAKING CUTE, by the way.
Favorite words nowadays: Pizza, phone, Daddy, Matthew (you say Matthew PERFECTLY), circle, ball, three, binky, nigh-night, monkey, color, baby, bubbles and outside. You pretty much spend every minute that you’re inside, begging to be taken out since the weather warmed up. I LOVE that you’re a lover of the outdoors.
A few fun facts about you right now:
Bubbles make your world go round. Not just soap bubbles. Any bubbles. Every time you watch me fill a pot with water, you LUNGE for the water foaming up at the end of the stream and squeal: BUBOOOOS!!
You won’t let ANYONE wield a bubble wand but you, even though the only thing you do with it is dip it into the bottle and then suck the soap off.
When we’re at the park, you tend to gravitate away from the play equipment, wandering off into open grass instead. I like to call you The Wanderer.
“Ahguboo.” you said back, smiling.
Everyday I unwrap you a little bit more, like a mystery gift encased in a sequence of boxes. It’s the best part of being home with you guys. I learn so much about your brother and sister everyday that it’s staggering. I’m learning about how they shoulder responsibility and how they carry themselves in uncertain situations - but I feel like I understand, at the core, who they are because in a large sense they’ve already grown into themselves. I feel like I’m still learning that with you, holding your hand while we figure it out together. It is such an honor to be that person in your life.
Speaking of people in your life, can we just talk for a minute about how in love you are with your dad? It isn’t just that you shower him with attention, either, it’s that you literally come alive when he gets home, like his face charges your batteries in a way that no one else can. You talk more when he’s around, you act sillier when he’s around; you shadow him like a faithful dog and comment in gibberish on everything he does and says, whether he’s talking to you or not. Happy as you are throughout the day when he’s at work, seeing the comparison makes it seem almost as if every moment leading up to the one where he walks though that door is spent just waiting for him. He is your best friend, and you do not even try to do me the courtesy of hiding the fact that right now, he is your favorite.
Believe me, he eats that shit up, too.
That isn’t to say that you don’t love everybody else though. I know that when you’re older one of the things about your babyhood that’ll always stick out for us is the way that you have never feared strangers. I mean, not even at the most basic level. To this day, if a friendly stranger offers you a passing grin, you immediately reach for them, expecting to just be handed over. You hug other parents on the leg who you know are not us, you’ve even kissed people sitting next to us before. If you are anything, child, it is affectionate.
At one point it concerned me enough to research a little and to speak to your doctor about, but it turned out that as long as you were connecting well with us, it isn’t any sign of developmental dysfunction or you trying desperately to escape from the family or anything. And you do connect with us perfectly. (I don’t know if you’ve heard, but you told me that you “gub” me the other day!)
You are gibber-jabbering up a storm now. You repeat almost anything that we say with a good deal of clarity and once in a while you’ll even pipe up with a spontaneous and appropriate word on your own. Yesterday, you pointed up at baby Charles while he was in my arms and said: BABY! The day before that you pointed to pizza coming out of the oven and said: PEET-SEE! And when you see animals you almost invariably mimic their distinguishing sounds. Your meow?: SO FREAKING CUTE, by the way.
Favorite words nowadays: Pizza, phone, Daddy, Matthew (you say Matthew PERFECTLY), circle, ball, three, binky, nigh-night, monkey, color, baby, bubbles and outside. You pretty much spend every minute that you’re inside, begging to be taken out since the weather warmed up. I LOVE that you’re a lover of the outdoors.
A few fun facts about you right now:
Bubbles make your world go round. Not just soap bubbles. Any bubbles. Every time you watch me fill a pot with water, you LUNGE for the water foaming up at the end of the stream and squeal: BUBOOOOS!!
You won’t let ANYONE wield a bubble wand but you, even though the only thing you do with it is dip it into the bottle and then suck the soap off.
When we’re at the park, you tend to gravitate away from the play equipment, wandering off into open grass instead. I like to call you The Wanderer.
Whenever Matthew's outside without you, you climb up the back of the couch so that you can stand on the windowsill, hands pressed against the glass, calling: Matthew!... Matthew!...
When you get mad you instantaneously reach for things to either yank at violently (like someone’s clothing) or to swipe to the floor (like a plate of food or a bunch of stuff sitting on the coffee table). You don’t screech and make a big scene, you just purse your lips and do it, totally dignified. It’s like the equivelent of tossing wine in someone’s face. I love it. (No I don’t.) (Okay, yes I do. But I still correct you for it.)
Speaking of getting pissy, you are already giving the silent treatment. The other day I was holding you and Daddy took a stern tone with you for screeching. You immediately turned your head away from him, eyebrows indignantly high, and rested your chin on my shoulder. When he walked around, trying to get you to look at him, you turned the other way, looking as far away from him as you could. CLASSIC.
You are so much fun though.. One of your favorite things to do is jump on Matthew’s bed with him while his CD player is blaring. I made him turn it down yesterday while you guys were doing this. He whined. Then you walked up to the button and turned it up as loud as you could. I pretended not to see when he high-fived you for it.
Your new thing now is spitting raspberries at people and things. Then you throw your head back, laughing wildly at yourself. You think you are hilarious.
You are pretty much the shit at putting together puzzles. I’m just sayin’.
You fake laugh at things all the time. You even make it a competition. You’ll fake laugh at something. Then we’ll laugh louder. Then you’ll laugh even louder than that. And we’ll go on and on like this until you’re slamming your hands down on things and screeching at a fever pitch that no one else can reach.
You’ve learned now that it is usually in your better interest to turn from people who ask you to hand things over to them, and run away, saying: Nooooooooo! instead.
Your first bubble bath was a total fail - you hated every second of it and spent the entire time either trying to escape from the foam or wipe all of your bath toys clean. Now? You refuse to bathe without them. The other day we were out of bubblebath, and when I plunked you in the naked water you were very vocal about your objection. Conveniently, you ended up taking an enormous poop in the water which took me about thirty minutes to clean up. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt on that one, but I think you and I both know what went down that day.
Clearly, you are still one of the coolest kids ever and you are only getting awesome-r by the day… even if you do occasionally poop in the bathtub. I love you to piece and pieces and pieces, munchkin, forever and ever and ever. Amen.
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