The other day Matthew comes walking into the kitchen, giving me the air-quote gesture (or whatever it’s called) while he asked me for some water. “What are the air-quotes for?” I asked, assuming they’re called air-quotes, maybe.
“They’re not air quotes,” he corrected, still framing everything he said in little finger hooks. “They’re quotation marks. Quotation marks are to let people know someone is talking.”
“Right…” I said, smiling.
“Well, I’m talking to you aren’t I?”
“That you are.” I said, laughing.
“That was a question. At the end of a question you draw a question mark. Right, momma?” he asked, drawing an imaginary question mark in the air.
“Mm, hm. Right.”
“NOW GET ME SOME WATER, WOMAN!” he yelled, out of nowhere.
“Matthew Spencer! What in the world are you yelling for?”
“Because! I wanted to use my sex-clamation point! … [finger hooks] ON THE WORLD!”